FOUNDATIONAL BELIEFS

We know that losing a baby is an isolating and devastating experience. In our groups we support bereaved parents by naming the incredible challenges they are experiencing, knowing that this group is one of the few places where parents can speak the truth about the depth of their emotions and the details of their experience.

We believe that speaking the truth about the heartbreaking journey of losing a baby is essential. Healing comes through having a safe place to process what we have been through and to explore what may lie ahead. By speaking about our experiences, they can become integrated into who we are and allow us to heal. We celebrate breaking the silence that bereaved parents have been historically subjected to and recognize that grief is a journey rather than a destination.

In these meetings we accept you all as you are, where you are. We know that people come to our groups with different backgrounds, belief systems, and family makeup, and we welcome those distinct differences. Similarly, we honor all losses, and we never compare one loss to the next. Regardless of the gestation or age of our baby when he or she died, we all hoped that we would have a lifetime with the child growing within us. We respect that each and every person’s experience is uniquely challenging in its own right. We ask that you hold all life experiences, as well as loss experiences, with respect.

We recognize that grief takes many forms. Emotions such as deep sadness, anger, confusion, longing, and even a sense of intermittent peace can all be normal parts of grieving. No one person grieves like another. People also feel differently about outwardly sharing their grief and their story. It’s our belief that the very act of coming to this group demonstrates each person’s commitment to their own growth and healing, whether they share a little or a lot. Please know that it’s our hope that you’ll take what you need from this meeting – sometimes that means sharing a great deal and sometimes it means just listening to others share.

We believe that each one of you has the inner wisdom and courage to walk with your grief into a brighter place, without ever forgetting the baby that you lost. You can and will make meaning of your baby’s short life.

BEREAVEMENT GROUP GUIDELINES

Confidentiality. We hold everything that is said in group to be confidential and ask that you share it with no one outside of this group. Furthermore, we also extend this confidentiality to within this room, in that we ask that you request permission from someone to talk with them about what they have shared when the formal discussion is over.

In this group, we hold each other with respect, compassion, and without judgment. We remind you that there is no right or wrong way to go about grieving.

We do not give advice or interrupt. We welcome responses in the form of “I” statements, which can help another person to see another way of doing things without hearing advice that could be interpreted as criticism or judgment.

As facilitators, we consider it our role to keep this space safe for you. However, we won’t always know if the conversation turns to a topic that feels too difficult for you to discuss. We encourage all of you to advocate for yourselves. If ever the discussion feels triggering or upsetting to you, please speak up. We never want you to leave group feeling upset, and we are happy and easily able to change the subject whenever that needs to happen.

When we’re sharing stories, please feel liberated to include any details you wish. The only thing we ask that you not include is the names of professionals.

This is not a clinical therapy group, and it should not replace therapy for individuals or couples who need it. Grief brings up a myriad of issues that cannot always be adequately addressed in this forum. Therapy can often be very helpful, and we would be happy to share the names of counselors/therapists that we know if you would be interested.

Self-care: Be aware of what you need during the group, and take care of yourself. Grab food, water, a blanket, or whatever would help an online meeting feel more comfortable. If you need to cry, blow your nose, or laugh, do it. If you need to use the bathroom, feel free to leave and come back. Take care of yourself. If at any point you feel overwhelmed, let us know in the chat and we can help steer dicussion. If you need to leave, of course you may, and one of us will follow up to make sure you are okay.